This who I am.....unfortunately

So, a few months ago I started having some serious mood swings. One week I was in Love and Happy with my life, nothing could get me down. The next week I was depressed, throwing a pity party, wishing I had a "real" job, whatever. The week after that I would get angry at the tiniest little things (or people), with no warning, no relief. I was miserable. The week after that I would start all over again being my happy self. Craziness to say the least.

I called the doctor numerous times. Of course, never actually talking to the doctor, but a nurse. First they put me on Birth Control pills, which did not work. Then, I called back and they put me on Wellbutrin (for anxiety). That gave me unbearable headaches. So, I called back again. Spoke with a different nurse. She told me to stop taking the wellbutrin and she would call me back and let me know what the doctor says.

So, a few days later, she calls me back to give me a prescription for Pristiq. Which has been great so far for the anxiety. However, during the call she gives me a number for a local physciatrist. Which I of course asked, what is this for? She looked in my file and proceeded to tell me that my doctor had diagnosed me with Premenstral tension Syndrome (PMTS). I had never heard of that before and more importantly had not been told that I was diagnosed. When? Why? How? After, hanging up the phone, dazed and confused. Matt and I spent a lot of time online looking up PMTS. Trying to better understand. I thought all women had PMS. Whats the big deal? Well, aparently I am one of the few women who got it pretty bad. :( The symptoms explained everything I was going through. The reason why I started to feel like my old self again was because I would get my period. It would give me the momentary relief that I needed.

Ok, So, the point of blogging all this today is to explain what I really want to say....... Today is a bad day. I am not having any anger problems since taking the Pristiq. Which is a huge blessing! But I still am going through the mood swings. Today, I feel lazy, depressed, want everyone around me to give me attention. The problem with that is that there is never anyone around me. I am at home with my toddler's all day.

This blog could go on and on. I am pretty good at throwing pity parties. Truth be told, I am going to be just fine. Matt is going to help me get my diet in better shape. (Which helps with the PMTS apparently) and I am going to fight this thing. I am going to enjoy my life....and count down the days to menapause. lol.

Thanks for listening/reading. Sorry this blog is so personal and not very adorable. :(